I sit here today, in front of my computer, blank.  I am empty.  Words are not here for the sharing....  It is almost like that part of me is broken.

So today, I will just restate the portions of my devotion this morning.

Isaiah 6......  God is Holy, Wonderful and Magnificent.  His wonder and glory are beyond my pitiful comprehension.  .......I am desperate.... a sinner, that should be so far removed from His presence.  Yet, through grace....  I am allowed to be near Him.  Christ's righteousness cloaks me in a perfection I can NOT obtain on my own. 

Psalms 34......  The Lord is near those who are broken.  He hears my cries to Him.

Ephesians 6.....  Because all of the preceding statements are true.  I will choose to put on the full armor of God.....  today, not to do battle.......  but because I can't even muster the energy to stand, get out of bed, or breathe without it.  I will slump within its protection and be safe.

16 years ago today

Once upon a time..... there was a girl, and a guy who looked like this.... ( he looks a bit nervous doesn't he?)

And then the girl looked like this...............

And then the girl did alot of this................................

And there was a beautiful baby boy

And they let me keep him........... although I am not sure WHY....  I don't look old enough... at all!

And we loved him.... and called him Evan.

We managed to keep him alive.....  and he learned to love music,

and eat cake,

and potatoes,

and he learned how to share....

But, he taught us how to smile........

And now, today.... he turned 16.

And I feel old.  *sigh*.....

Evan, I am humbled and grateful that God chose me to be your mom.  I was deeply in love with you before I even met you.  You made me smile when you did back flips in my belly.  Now, you make me smile with your quick wit, and contagious laugh.  I feel blessed to see glimpses of the man that God is growing you up to be.  My prayer for you, on this day of your birth..... would be that you never lose sight of your Lord.  I pray that you always stand firm on the Rock of your Salvation, and you heed the tender voice of the Holy Spirit.  God has great plans for your life.  I am excited to see how you fulfill His plans for you.  Remember, no matter where life takes you, or what it tries to throw at you, your God is bigger than it all.

I love you,

Mom

Jeremiah's Gems......

So, it is no secret that I live with a crew of natural comedians.  Their natural sarcasm, and crazy antics keep me not only hopping, but frequently laughing so hard it hurts.  Other times the things they say are sweet and tender and born from child-like innocence that we long for as we "grow-up" and become hardened by the world.

Today, in the midst of wanting to kill Jeremiah... he came up with one of those innocent sweet moments.... and it truly saved his life.

Let me back track...

I have been attempting to listen to an online web seminar.... it started yesterday, and I heard about half.  Today, I am fairing about the same... listen to one session, spend the next session with it playing but I am up and doing kitchen work or putting out fires or directing school work....

For the last two days, Jeremiah has woken up with his grouch on.  He has been bent on running amok... seeking that which he can destroy, and frankly, he has been rather successful.

This morning, he began the day with yelling at me because I wouldn't let him eat peppermint candy for breakfast, from there he moved to dumping half a bottle of puppy shampoo into the bathtub, there were some moments of relative calm as he played in the dirt outside with the puppies....  it was short lived, because I heard grunting, from out on  the back porch.  As I am walking to the window, I say... "Jeremiah?  What are you doing out there?"  Quickly he replies, "I am trying to go potty, and Zeke is wicking my weenah." 
All I can do is sigh, a big heavy loud... I really don't even want to go to the window and SEE this kind of sigh...............  I want to throw- up.... but that would have been counterproductive.  So, instead, I calmly tell him "STOP PEEING ON THE PORCH!.... and go use the BATHROOM!"   He dutifully picks up his underwear, drops it into the dirty clothes pile on the way to the bathroom and goes there to finish his "business".  Soon, I hear....  "Jeremiah! stop it!  Stop squeezing RIGHT now!" , from Tayler.  Apparently, he had finished rather quickly, and had decided that half of the toothpaste tube needed to be emptied into the sink. Again, I sigh.  I go finish him up, and go to get more undies and shorts for him.... since clearly he needs no encouragement to disrobe....

 As he comes in to get dressed we discuss the fact that I am disappointed with his destructive behavior today. He looks at me with genuine wonder.... I can tell he is thinking he hasn't done anything so bad that I should be disappointed.  I go on to further explain that God would not be happy with his destruction either.  I informed him that he was not being a good steward of the things that God had entrusted to us; that dumping out soap and toothpaste is wasteful.

This is where he has his little moment.........

He stops in mid-wiggle... and looks at me seriously and says, " Dod, is in my Hawt".
I reply, " Yes, God is in your heart, and he is sad with the way you have been behaving today."
" I need to ast Dod for fordiveness"
" Yes, Jeremiah, you should ask God for forgiveness."
At this, he lifts his shirt up and exposes his belly button....  and begins to speak.  " Deawah Dod, do you fordive me for my disduction today?"  then he looks up and me after a pause, " Did he fordive me?  I didn't hewah him?"
" Yes Jeremiah, He forgave you.  Now remember when we ask for forgiveness, I means we need to ask God for help, to not do the bad things again."
"Otay, I will not do it adain."  and then lifting the shirt and talking to God in his belly button..."  Dod, pweeze help me not to do disduction any moi. Amen"

May we all take it so literally that God lives in our hearts....  and talk to him so plainly and honestly throughout our day.

WHOOOO are you... who... who....

Well now that I have successfully stuck THAT song in your head for the next few hours...   rest in the knowledge that it is equally as stuck in my head right now.... lol

I was looking over my feedjit roll yesterday, and I was rather surprised at all the people who seem to have stopped by recently.  I routinely have moments of awe when I see that someone from Australia or the UK googled or yahoo'ed something and my little ole blog popped up in their search....  even more awe inspiring is that they clicked on it and read it.... 

I am especially intrigued when a reader has chosen to land on a post that is more spiritual or biblical in its nature.  I wonder if they leave feeling blessed and informed or thinking that I am a crackpot freak of nature.

That being said.......  if you are reading this....... and you aren't one of the 2 people I pay to read what I write so I feel better about myself....  please leave a note.... say hi, share what made you stop by for a moment and read....  Don't leave me hanging and wondering who you are!!!

Sister and Mom Visit day 2 and 3 ( pigs, poo and penicillin)

Well day two started out innocent enough.  Daebo ( our family word for grandma) went out for a leisurely coffee break with her granddaughter.  They talked about all sorts of things, and had a wonderful time.

Later in the evening, and by evening I mean total darkness of about 8:30 pm, we all went out to the Farm to help load the hogs for slaughter the next morning.  We had to get 2- 300 lb hogs cut from a herd of 3 out of the pen, then into a chute, up a ramp, over a gaping chasim, and into the bed of a pick up truck with a stock rack on it.  Yeah...  It all works perfectly in the mind.... and you pray you can execute your plan without killin a hog or worse hurting one of the humans in the operation.

We got there and Mr. Antos had the truck backed up to the chute, rack on and a couple of boards to block  the gap between the chute and the tailgate of the truck.  Tayler is poised and ready to jump in the pen with the hogs and get 'em up the ramp....  Mr. Antos is still thinking....  I am sure he had variables of death and dismemberment on his mind.  All the little kids, of which there were 7,  plus my sister, are perched on top of the rails of the hog pen, waiting to cheer everyone on... it conjures up images of gladiators being cheered on in the Roman Coliseums....  I took up residence against the board that was on the passenger side of the truck to keep it from being knocked down, as if I was going to stop a 300 lb pig....

Mom, who had been passively watching down on the ground on my side of the truck, pipes up as a volunteer when Mr. Antos asks for one....  she climbed up on the truck to hold the other wooden panel... and a teeny, tiny keychain light so the hog could see where to go.  As she is climbing up onto the truck, you hear a bit of worry in Mr. Antos' voice, as he cautions her not to do anything that is gonna break her....  Tayler is working the chute door... and she an Mr. A have their pig code worked out....  ok goes up the chute.... NO NO NO, gets let back into the pen....

Let the games begin..............

Now that we are all at our posts....  He goes in to shoo a pig into the chute.... easier said than done....   Mrs. A goes in too,  after a bit of butt slapping ( the pigs butt )  and yee hawin'.... the pig is cut from her friends and up the chute she goes....into the truck, and we slam the rack down so she doesn't get out.
Now comes the fun part....  get hog two in while not letting hog one OUT!...  have I mentioned we are talking about pissed off 300 lb pigs?
Mr. A, climbs into the stock rack, and closes the door.... not sure which inspired that move.... desperation or insanity... and tries to "block" the hog off with a little ole' piece of MDF board.  Let's just say it didn't work.  and he climbed back out, before the hog got MORE pissed.
So we are back trying to get hog two..... This one is more illusive.  Tay gets down from her job at the chute door, and is replaced by Steven....  She is now in the pen with Mr and Mrs A..... chasing down a hog.  There is now a hush over the crowd, as they watch to see what will happen with three humans vs 2 hogs.....  they get the one they want cornered.... by the way, a cornered 300 lb hog isn't a happy hog....  and she tries to bolt.  Tayler had a feed bucket in her hand, and she wrangled that thing  holding it's head in the feed bucket.... she actually held her own with that hog for a good minute... it was a sight to see your fourteen year old wrastlin' a pig, and winning, even if it was for just a minute.  So after 3 more tries we get the right pig in the chute, and loaded up.... my mom hanging on for dear life as the hog makes the truck dip.... valiantly holding her little pen light on so we could see.  I think the best thing overall was the sound mom and sis made when the hog turned to POO upon all who had placed it in this contraption.... and then Kelly trying to keep someone from inadvertantly touching it.... (never mind the fact they had been walking in goat poo, and chicken poo for the last 45 min.....)  was hilarious!

After an eventful close to day two, we woke up to an equally climatic day 3....
We got a call from Mrs Antos at 7 in the morning that Taylers goat was going down.  She had delivered two kids two days before, and now she was weak and not wanting to eat much.  So we were told to bring pop bottles for feeding, pepto bismol for bloating, and the milk concoction for the babies if we couldn't save mama.  I am sure the woman at Winco thought we were plum crazy with Milk, Buttermilk, two 20 oz pops and Pepto on the belt.... but to her credit she didn't even show a glimmer of humor as she scaned our items.

We got to the Farm about 8:30 am, and Tay went to work.  They drew penicillin shots for her, mixed an emergency paste for her to eat to keep her stomach working right, and encourage her to eat.  They went out to tend to the goats, I stayed in with the human kids in the house.  I love the farm life, but I am NOT so good with the animals, like Mrs. Antos.  So I do what I can and keep the little kids out of everyone's hair so they can do the hard work.  It is all farm work, I just know my place is in the farmHOUSE.  They worked until about 11 with the sick goat the babies and then the regular chores.  I left Tayler there to help give more meds to her goat... and went home to mom and Kelly who were home with all the kids here.

We decided to go to Chuck E Cheese, to get out of the house, and becuase it was too windy to go to the park.  The place was really empty, except for us, and I can actually say a trip to Chuck E Cheese was relaxing.

We finished off the day with some mother daughter bonding over a tub of depilatory wax.  It was good times for sure!

Can't wait to see what is gonna happen today.

Sister and Mom visit.....day 1

So today I almost earned the bad auntie of the year award....
I made breakfast.... potato pancakes, farm fresh eggs with some veg and cheese....  served it to all the kids....  and about 10 minutes in... Hunter comes and finds me down the hall....

" Um... mom?..... "

"yea"

"Um... Angelo is allergic to eggs."

and then he spins on his heel and walks down the hall back to the kitchen....

HMMMMM
not good.  I had forgotten the poor guy was allergic....  Good thing HE remembered...

Later in the day Mom, Sis, Tayler and I went to DUTCH BROTHERS.... ( I get it all the time now.... but for them it is a special treat.... there are no DB's in the Bay Area.... and it is a travisty)    and then to Kohl's....  under the guise of mom wanting a pair of earrings....  we left with two pairs of earrings, some shoes and two rings later.....  we were victims of great marketing.... or maybe it was just the word SALE....

After the retail therapy....  I moved from worst aunt to BEST mom...  Tayler got to get her hair "styled"  she got about 8 inches cut off, and she LOVES it!....  She is floating around the house, in the midst of pure bliss and FREEDOM that comes with shorter hair....she looks beautiful ( but I am HIGHLY biased)

I think tomorrow is going to be Spudnuts....  hopefully I don't try to kill anyone again....

Implements of torture

I will apologize now if this post seems a bit irreverent, especially on the heels of yesterdays more serious post...  but sometimes life is like that... salty and sweet, serious and hysterical, all at the same time.

Today I decided to do battle.  Oh, I have been "playing war" for a while now.... hiding in the bushes, and shooting pot shots at the enemy.... but today, I invested in the big guns..... I bought a wax pot.  I am tired of "Nad"-ing the face, and watching it all scury back....  I have tried wax before, in those Sally Hansen microwave mini cups..... not only does the stuff not melt right.... it ends up looking like a cross between an alien blob trying to climb out of the jar, and a freeze dried sea anemone.... not to mention you can NEVER get the top back on!  We won't even talk about the amount in that little tiny jar being INSUFFICIENT for the job...........I could pluck.... but really who has the time to be married to a mirror?  I don't.  I don't even LIKE mirrors most days.  So I went to the local beauty supply store and bought the preverbial cannon.  I need this cannon, because the BB gun aint cuttin' it.  Unlike most of the rest of feminine creation, I am NOT hair free.  I have hair on  my lips, my chin, my forehead, my neck.... if it grows somewhere on a guy's face... I got it there too!.... so now you better understand my direct decendence from Sasquatch.... you understand the need for a higher fire power.

Now, I have had experience with these things.... at the hair salon, or nail shop....  I have had the side burns waxed... or the eyebrows done, but somehow, somewhere, you get the impression that waxing "like a professional"  is one of those things that if it were on TV would be preceeded by the disclaimer.... "now kids, don't ever try this at home"  .... I am here to tell you....... I lived.  The hair is gone.  And a legal team did not materialize in my shower............  in fact, I actually recommend it.  It was fast, it got all the hair the FIRST time ( unlike Nad's) and I didn't have to run to the microwave 60 times (like with Sally).  Albeit, it is easier to "hold one's skin taut" when you have two hands to do it, and one of them is not poised to RIP the hair from your flesh.... but it can be done.... and would have been rather humorous to watch, I'm sure, had I not locked myself in the bathroom.

Things worth noting: 
1. the wax is STICKY.... when you peel off the lid to start warming it.... don't get it on your fingers!
2. less is more.... you use an incredibly minute amount of product to produce desired results.
3. there is a reason that they use a stick once per application.  Did I mention that it is STICKY, and one stick per swipe keeps your fingers clean.  Go to Walmart and buy a gross of wide popsicle/craft sticks it will be cheaper than the ones at the supply house.
4. get the wax removal substance they sell.  I didn't, and I wish I did. ( this does not mean I walking around with globs on my face.... a little baby oil will take it off too....)
5. do the deed, at least a DAY before you need to go ANYWERE!.... while I am currently hair free ( insert the joyus strains of the hallelujah chorus here)  my face is red, mildly numb, and blotchy.... not exactly "hey sexy.... wanna go on a date?" material.
6. get the little pot rings they sell....an item I debated on purchasing.....it is worth it to keep your pot from looking like a dried sea anemone.
7. it didn't hurt as bad as I thought... and actually less than Nad's did... maybe it is the warm of the wax opening the pores a bit before the ripping.... who knows, but I certianly wasn't jumping around the bathroom cursing Eve after each rip.........

I will let ya know how long it takes to grow back................