Feburary 14.....

I sort of have a love- hate relationship with this day.

I love my husband... but Hate the crowds of people that go out on this day.
I love to do special things for the ones I love.... but honestly Hallmark, you can't really express all my emotions for me.

I think the reason I don't like it, is the commercialism.  All the poor people sucked into overpriced floral arrangements, tacky cards, and hideous, chalk like tasting, heart candies.

I think the other reason I may not like it.... is that it is all about feelings.  Warm fuzzy, hot and bothered, cute and cheesy....feelings.  Not one thing that a person can buy, will ever represent real, honest, nitty gritty LOVE.  The choice kind, not the feeling kind.

Feelings are why people say they fall OUT of love.
Feelings cause people to stand up for their RIGHTS in a relationship... and demand things from another person.
Feelings fade.

Choice love says...  I love you when even when you have hurt me.  Choice love doesn't run, even when every fiber of your being wants to.  Choice love is respectful and kind, when all you want to do is scream and yell.  It says, I am on your side, no matter what the circumstance.  Choice love is rooted in commitment that transcends feelings. It forgives. You don't find it in box of candy, or written on a card.

You will find it in the little moments of love that are hidden throughout the year.  The soft holding of his hand in mine.  The touch of calloused, hard working fingers as they brush the hair from my eyes.  Soft shared smiles over the heads of our children.  Gentle deep breaths from the space next to me in the darkness.  His arm around my shoulders as we sit in church.  The way the kids roll their eyes when they see us hug and kiss.

Choice love is the growing old with you sort of love.  The kind that you see when 90 year old people are all hunched over and shuffling hand in hand to their doctor appointments.  The kind you find on wide, sun bleached porches with creaky swings and rocking chairs.  It is steady and true.  It is the kind of love I pray for, for me and for you.....