Happy Anniversary

In a few more days and nine years ago...........

I married my dear husband.

Never once did he promise me the moon, even though he still looks at me like I hung it.

This last year has been one of the most difficult we have faced......even so, we faced it together.

We are learning that our marriage is more than I love yous, and holding hands.  It is steadily learning each other and the investment of time.  It is a commitment to God that far outweighs the hurts that people can inflict on one another.  It is the act of choosing love and forgiveness above all else.

Thank you honey for all the ways you show me (and the kids) you love me (us): for loving God more than me, for fixing cars, changing light bulbs and killing all the spiders; for fixing skinned knees, and hugging away broken hearts; for carrying little bed bugs into their OWN bed, and for your special brand of tuckin' time; and for being quick to forgive.

Happy Anniversary Hon...

God loves you, and so do I.

Don't forget to share your gratituesday story at Heavenly Homemakers

Parade day!!! ~ part one ~

In case you haven't been keeping track.... We are now on day THREE of our New York City adventure.

Each night we have come back to the hotel, I was absolutely sure my feet were going to fall off and that they were going to be so swollen in the morning that I wasn't going to be able to stand on them.

Every morning, I would slide out of bed.... and be absolutely amazed that my feet were still attached, no longer swollen, and still working!

Day one was an 11 hour day, Day two was 18 hours, and now we are about to embark on Day three, which will turn out to be a 19 hour day.... ( yes, you may groan in sympathy...)

But I get ahead of myself....  I must start at the beginning.

Up at 4 am.....

Get kids up at 4:30....  we are receiving much resistance today...  they are past the point of caring that there is a parade.... they are exhausted, our sweet cajoling voices are lost on the poor things..

We pry them out of bed by 4:45 slide clothes over their heads and up their legs while they stand there, half comatose....
Prop them up in the elevator, and meet with tour guide barbie in the lobby.

The rush of frozen air as we walk outside is and instant eye opener, and they are awake and ready to go.
Mostly.
The pictures don't lie.
We were feeding them cookies for breakfast.
Anything to keep them awake.

We were in the Subway so early, the first train we saw was the garbage train!

Out of the Subway we emerge.  Tour Guide Barbie is in speed mode... which means those of us with little ones are just keeping her in sight, and trying to keep up...

The anticipation in the air is tangible..... we are gonna be "In the FRONT row".... at least that is our goal. because HONESTLY....3 days of starting the day before Dawn... better mean we are going to be in the front row.

We walk around Columbus Circle, and land a spot that is on the Circle, and slightly to the right of the entrance to Trump Hotel and Tower.  We are RIGHT ON THE CURB... the front row baby!

Amy lays out her hotel towel and lays down for a nap... Tour guide Ken (a.k.a. Brent) puts in his earphones and does the same....

 Angelo leans on his mom, and tries to sleep,

poor Jeremiah, bless his bundled up little heart.  He didn't even complain once.  He just held his little hand warmers and had a great time!

everyone else is just sort of milling around ....  looking at the clock that is above Columbus Circle that reads ... 5:40 AM !!%@#!! and wondering what in the WORLD are we possibly going to do in 39 degree weather until 9:00 am when this blessed parade starts. 

Always one to make the best of any situation, even one where hypothermia is a distinct possibility, Auntie Rene takes Jody, Tayler and Brandyn over to find a coffee shop, any coffee shop, that might be open at this inhumane hour, (thank goodness for Starbucks!)  while the rest of us waited and tried to keep the new arrivals out of our "territory"

Not long after they arrived back and distributed the coffee....  Our plan....The plan.... was over ruled...  And my sweet spirited little sister and fearless tour guide....  Wasn't happy.  At. All. 

(don't worry...  I won't leave you in suspense too long....)

Gratituesday

I am a slow learner.

I learn lessons by crashing cars, breaking bones, and the beating of my head against a wall.

One life lesson that I keep bashing my head against, is forgiveness.

I'll be honest, I thought I had this one licked.  I knew how to do this one.  I have lived through a divorce and all the particular pains that were associated with it, and I have forgiven.

Got it covered.  Lesson learned.....  time to move on....  Right?

Wrong.

Here I am, years later....  visiting the same lesson.  Only now it seems harder.  circumstances are not the same.... but in thinking I have learned the lesson... I have resented and resisted the trials that have been placed in my life to help me more fully understand the meaning of forgiveness.

This time the lesson isn't so much in learning how to say "I forgive you."  The lesson is standing READY to forgive.

I am learning how to live out  Luke 6:27-36
But if you are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. (Do What???)   Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. (Pray?  Really?  Do you know what they did to me?)  If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.  Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back. Do for others as you would like them to do for you.   Do you think you deserve credit merely for loving those who love you? ( Yes, yes I do.....)  Even the sinners do that!  (oh...) And if you do good only to those who do good to you, is that so wonderful? Even sinners do that much!  And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, what good is that? Even sinners will lend to their own kind for a full return.  Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. ( I have lots of work to do.  It is hard to be kind to people who are mean to me.) You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

I am grateful that God is compassionate. 
 
Grateful for his compassion shown to me as I wrestle with learning how to be ready to forgive someone, who has hurt me, even if they never acknowledge that hurt.
 
Slowly I am learning how to say, "Father, forgive them, for they know what what they do..."  (Luke 23:34)

Gratituesday: On Wednesday

A day late... but I am not a dollar short...and that's good right?

I am most thankful that I have my oven back.  Three weeks ago the control board on it popped, spit sparks at me and made me scream...  Everyone came running....  'cuz well, mom doesn't scream often.

Hubby spent a few hours checking everything and fixed it so I could at least use the cook top.  The new control board arrived on Monday.... and by the end of the night, it was all fixed.

I am so very thankful for a husband that knows how to fix things....  the part was way cheaper than a whole new unit.

Now I must go make scones........

Words that Soothe the Soul

Most of the month of February has been melancholy for me.

My inner homemaker/Betty Crocker says why bother....  will I ever figure out this mom thing?..... isn't parenting supposed to be a joy?  Then why does it feel like such a chore?  

There have been trials in my marriage,

problems to solve during the day that seem to multiply like dust bunnies do.....

I have been tired, overwhelmed, and some days I have just really wanted a quiet place to crawl in.... and just bask in the quiet. 

While I was smack in the midst of wallowing in my own private desire for solitude and peace....  I got an email from Mrs. Lori Flem.

You know what she said?

She said...."Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy.  It's supposed to make you married."  She said, it was MY job to make my marriage happy and satisfying.  I was reminded that I am to love him in spite of our differences and that avoiding a conflict doesn't resolve it.

I needed that.  Oh how I needed that.  You see, sometimes the hurts that happen behind the scenes, you can't share with even your closest girlfriend.  But you can share them with God.  He listens.  He knows.  He will send you newsletters like Encouraging Moments, right to your inbox, to speak to your soul.

Maybe you are a mom like me, who sometimes is overwhelmed with the triple crown...

Let's be honest... there really probably isn't a maybe about it...  It happens to us all, we all get tired and overwhelmed. 

As your blog friend, I encourage you to go sign up for Lori's Encouraging Moments.
Go to http://www.homemakingwithteach.com/ , and enter your email address on the right hand side of the page.

Maybe this next Thursday, God will use Lori to whisper in your ear... and remind you, just how much He loves you.

****Disclaimer****
I am reviewing Encouraging Moments as an official member of The Gabby Moms blogging program for Eternal Encouragement magazine.  I did not receive compensation for this post and all opinions are solely my own.”

Feburary 14.....

I sort of have a love- hate relationship with this day.

I love my husband... but Hate the crowds of people that go out on this day.
I love to do special things for the ones I love.... but honestly Hallmark, you can't really express all my emotions for me.

I think the reason I don't like it, is the commercialism.  All the poor people sucked into overpriced floral arrangements, tacky cards, and hideous, chalk like tasting, heart candies.

I think the other reason I may not like it.... is that it is all about feelings.  Warm fuzzy, hot and bothered, cute and cheesy....feelings.  Not one thing that a person can buy, will ever represent real, honest, nitty gritty LOVE.  The choice kind, not the feeling kind.

Feelings are why people say they fall OUT of love.
Feelings cause people to stand up for their RIGHTS in a relationship... and demand things from another person.
Feelings fade.

Choice love says...  I love you when even when you have hurt me.  Choice love doesn't run, even when every fiber of your being wants to.  Choice love is respectful and kind, when all you want to do is scream and yell.  It says, I am on your side, no matter what the circumstance.  Choice love is rooted in commitment that transcends feelings. It forgives. You don't find it in box of candy, or written on a card.

You will find it in the little moments of love that are hidden throughout the year.  The soft holding of his hand in mine.  The touch of calloused, hard working fingers as they brush the hair from my eyes.  Soft shared smiles over the heads of our children.  Gentle deep breaths from the space next to me in the darkness.  His arm around my shoulders as we sit in church.  The way the kids roll their eyes when they see us hug and kiss.

Choice love is the growing old with you sort of love.  The kind that you see when 90 year old people are all hunched over and shuffling hand in hand to their doctor appointments.  The kind you find on wide, sun bleached porches with creaky swings and rocking chairs.  It is steady and true.  It is the kind of love I pray for, for me and for you.....

down and out

There are just times when I have nothing to say.

I am sure my mom doesn't believe that...  but it is true.  Some days I just got nothing.

That is how it has been for awhile.  I sit at the computer and the white posting screen for this blog just mocks me in its emptiness.  So, hopefully you can forgive me and my silence....  I've been contemplative and introspective.... not chatty and light.

I feel myself coming around again...  I am sure things will be back to normal soon.