Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Why do we hide?

Why do we put on such a front with other people? I am specifically speaking to ladies right now, even more specifically church ladies....You know who you are.  You can spot a fake person at 20 paces.... they make you angry, because they are so plastic, pretending to be perfect and together.......... yet, you play the same game, and you hate yourself for it.
Ever been to a Ladies Fellowship event? Everyone walks around with their name tag, and cup of coffee, tea or juice, smiling politely at everyone. You hear laughter, you see hugs.... but the laughter is from a safe subject, the hugs are hello hugs..... Can you tell me, when, if ever, you saw someone cry?  We sit at the same tables, with the same friends, and smile and nod at each other..... and inside we are broken and hurting and terrified that someone will see.
Why is it that we think we have to show everyone how together we are? When we play this game, are we really letting the church fulfill what God intended for it to be? I submit to you that we are not. If we don't know each others needs, how can we bear each others burdens? Do we hold things in out of pride or fear? Are you just sure that all these "together" women you see, have never had a problem, either temporal, or spiritual in their whole lives..... they have got this Christian thing figured out!.... hmmm.....

In any given church, in any given women's fellowship gathering, you will find women of all walks of life, in every season of life.
Who are these women?
We are women who have suffered in bad marriages, maybe even resulting in divorce. We are women who are experiencing the empty nest, and loneliness. We are women who have buried our loving spouse. We are women who are childless, and aching to be a mother. We are women who have buried a child.  We are women who have houses overflowing with children, and we can barely keep up! We are women who have children with special needs.  We are women nursing ill or dying parents.  We are women who are over scheduled, and under rested. We are women who are angry. We are women who struggle with disciplining our children as God would have us to. We are women who face cancer. We are women who have a debilitating or life threatening disease. We are single mothers, terrified of raising our children alone, and without a father figure. We are women who hate our jobs.  We are women who have so much debt we don't know how we will pay it all off.   We are young women who need advice and guidance, but spurn it from our parents. We are women who have been abused.  We are women who have struggled with addiction.  We are women who have been to jail.  Hopefully we can all say, we are women who have been forgiven.
I hope you found yourself in that list. I know I am in there several times.
I know my hope and my prayer is that we as women in our churches, reach out to other women. When you ask how someone is... be ready and willing to get a real answer. If you are asked that question, QUIT SAYING YOU ARE FINE!!!!!!!!! chances are, your NOT! be humble, and transparent, and ask for prayer, share what you are struggling with.  Maybe you are quiet, because you don't know what to say... you don't feel you know your Bible well enough to use it to encourage someone.  IF that is the case, then at least pray with that woman, right then.  Go home and look some stuff up....tell her you will get back to her on what God says.  The internet is an incredible resource, there are books with verses in them on every subject you could think of....( I have 2... The Bible Promises Book and God's Promises for Mothers )  Use that concordance that came in the back of your Bible.....Maybe, by reaching out to someone, you will begin to "know your Bible" better. 

Remember, God doesn't tell us to keep all we learn to ourselves.  We are supposed to be discipling and encouraging one another.  Why?  because we learn the most when we share and teach the truths we have learned.  Sometimes it is important to just know that someone else had/has the same struggle, and you are not alone.

Pray and ask God whom you can minister to.  Pray and ask Him to reveal to you, someone in need of ministering.  Be willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those around you.


  1. Amen Girl! I want to go to church with you!

  2. I found myself over and over in those statements. And, I have been so guilty in the past (and not so far off past) of hiding my feelings for 'fear' of looking 'weak'. Sin much, Lisa? I'm almost too open now, but that's what God has done for me by praying for humility and for forgiveness of my prideful nature- which is what it really was all along. I know you must be such a blessing to the women in your church.

  3. believe me.... i need this kick in the pants as much as anyone... i too am just as guilty of "putting on the plastic" as anyone else.

    I just know i don't want to be that way anymore. We have been studying the spiritual gifts in Sunday School... and over and over and over Paul tells us that our gifts are not for US.... my gifts are for the church. Which means i am supposed to be DOING something, not just sittin on my behind in a pew.... suckin up sermons like a sponge, and then getting all stinky like the one in the kitchen sink that wasn't wrung out.
    That isn't how the body of Christ is supposed to work!
    So... my commitment to my God this year is to be willing to reach out, even when it is uncomfortable, and even if it is to someone i may not get along with very well.... because we all need the care of our Shepherd, and He commands us to love one another.


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