Dear Friend,
It was good that you called. Hearing your voice, made me keenly aware of its absence for these many years, and aware of how shameful of a friend I have become to you.
It was good to hear of jobs and kids and life........ all that happens when time slips by.
I wish I lived closer. In the days since our talk I have thought of you so much. I wish we could share couch time, our jean clad legs and bare feet curled up under us as we talked and talked the hours away. Pouring encouraging wisdom into each new subject, with an ease that only a lifetime of knowing someone can produce.
Both of our lives have been on a bumpy path....
There has been lots of laughter and joy....... hurt and pain...... and then the search to regain the joy. I am very aware of an emptiness, an ache that lurks in your soul. The one way down in there that you don't let people see, or even really want to think about. It is the one that confronts you when the nights are long and quiet, and life is just overwhelming enough to bring it to the surface involuntarily.
I know all about this ache.... because I have had it. Some days I still live with this ache. Some days it envelops me and it's grip is so tight, I think I might die from the weight of it. When we talked, you said how perfect my life sounded, how I seemed to be doing everything right..... Those words haunt me.
My life is not perfect.
At all.
I fail so much more than I succeed.
When we were young we made a promise to each other......besides the one that we would always be friends.... we promised that we would pray for each other, and that we would love each other as sisters in Christ.....
I stand before you to ask your forgiveness. I failed you in that promise. My own life, my own selfish life, got in the way...... and I beg your forgiveness.
I resolve to return to that promise that we made to each other long ago. I resolve to make it a reality to pray for you, and love you, to rebuild what time has torn down. I want to share the burden of the emptiness that you are feeling, and let you know how I made it through.
If you'll let me......
I'm here.........
Love,
me
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Miscellany Monday 4.25.11 ~ dryers and derriere's
{one}
So there I was head first into the dryer scraping off the 2 inch wide swath of calcified bubble gum off the drum....... and if my head was "in there".... you know my derrière was all "out there" for everyone to see....
My husband walks up to the laundry room door and starts talking....
It sounds like *wa, wahwah, wha, what, wah*
I rearrange my knees, reposition my torso in such a manner so that I can extricate my head, and not crumple the dryer door.........lean out so that my left ear is able to hear him and exasperatedly say... WHAT!??
He just stopped by to inform me that the spot price for Silver has gone up 14 dollars. It is now $46 an ounce.
Seriously? I had to extricate myself out of the dryer, and end my quest to de-throne the gum.....
................for THAT??????????????
ugh.
{two}
I really do love my husband.
and yes he knew he was going to be blog material.
{three}
Had a surprise phone call from a dear friend last night.
It has been far too long since our last chat......
God willing, there will be more frequent communication.
I miss her.
{four}
little boys with freckle kissed noses that come up in the middle of the day for big hugs
because they are "jus wuvvin ya mom"
are simply gifts from God.
{five}
its raining today.
fire in the fireplace........ check
big mug 'o coffee..... check
slippers....... check
reading out loud to the kids day........ check.
~ julie
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Epic mom fail.......
So, yesterday........ I did something I have never done before....
We had an appointment for Evan to see the Optometrist at Sears.
No biggie, normal mom stuff
They called Thursday to confirm. I ask which part of the building they are in. She says go to the merchandise pick up door. Its by the salon.... go in and there we are.
Simple enough........
So yesterday, when it was appointment time we arrive a little early... and we are right outside the merchandise pick up door. We see some people going in.... and even though it is early we go and tell them we are there for Evan, and his 10 am appt.
They say ok. Take the insurance cards.... and call him back in a bit to the Optometrist.
While he is in with the Doc. ..... my phone rings
It is Tayler from home... She says Sears is on the house phone calling and wondering where we are..
I incredulously say into the phone.... We are RIGHT HERE! Evan is already in with the Dr! are they nuts?
She quietly tells me.... "Mom? are you sure?"
" Yes I am sure, don't you think I know where I am?"
"Well they say your not there......"
All of the sudden.... it was like the scales peeled off my eyes.....
I was in JC Penny's Optical department..............oops...
***epic mom fail ***
In my defense.... i went in the merchandise pick up door.... and it WAS by the salon.........sigh...
We had an appointment for Evan to see the Optometrist at Sears.
No biggie, normal mom stuff
They called Thursday to confirm. I ask which part of the building they are in. She says go to the merchandise pick up door. Its by the salon.... go in and there we are.
Simple enough........
So yesterday, when it was appointment time we arrive a little early... and we are right outside the merchandise pick up door. We see some people going in.... and even though it is early we go and tell them we are there for Evan, and his 10 am appt.
They say ok. Take the insurance cards.... and call him back in a bit to the Optometrist.
While he is in with the Doc. ..... my phone rings
It is Tayler from home... She says Sears is on the house phone calling and wondering where we are..
I incredulously say into the phone.... We are RIGHT HERE! Evan is already in with the Dr! are they nuts?
She quietly tells me.... "Mom? are you sure?"
" Yes I am sure, don't you think I know where I am?"
"Well they say your not there......"
All of the sudden.... it was like the scales peeled off my eyes.....
I was in JC Penny's Optical department..............oops...
***epic mom fail ***
In my defense.... i went in the merchandise pick up door.... and it WAS by the salon.........sigh...
Friday, April 22, 2011
Portable Encouragement for Moms
Hello.........
It has been to church, ball games, doctor visits, the optometrist office.... I have read it while the boys played at the park and inside McDonald's.... It is the most traveled magazine I have ever read.
It wasn't just the size that made it compelling............
The content kept calling to me........ to read, and re-read........ absorb........ and be refreshed.
These last few weeks have been N-U-T-S
............and in the few, slightly stolen, quiet moments I have had.......... Eternal Encouragement Magazine is what I have grabbed.
I have remained focused by reading articles like, " Four Principles of NOT Wasting Time"
I was encouraged to cultivate a "Lady in Waiting", and nurture the relationship with my daughter.
Housework has gone smoother since reading " See a Mess and Work a Lot Less".
The Article "Picket Fence Pondering" by Amy M. O'Quinn gently spoke to my heart during this time that is so busy... she said, "How many of us are guilty of letting what's important in life slip by because we are so focused on things that don't matter or ones we have no control over." What a great reminder to check my priorities and make sure I am busy for the RIGHT reasons.
If you would like a copy of your very own ............ head on over to http://www.eternalencouragement.com/ and subscribe. Each printed issue is $12.97. Yearly subscriptions start at $25.97 ( which is a really great deal!)
*** as a member of the Gabby Moms Blogging program, I received a free copy of Eternal Encouragement Magazine, for the purpose of this review. No other compensation has been received... all opinions are my own ***
I would like to introduce you to...........
This little gem has literally lived with me for the last month and a half. I keep it in my purse.... it is just the perfect size. My daughter and I read it while we were at the Emergency Room waiting for her to have her knee x-rayed... (don't worry, nothing was broken!)
It has been to church, ball games, doctor visits, the optometrist office.... I have read it while the boys played at the park and inside McDonald's.... It is the most traveled magazine I have ever read.
It wasn't just the size that made it compelling............
The content kept calling to me........ to read, and re-read........ absorb........ and be refreshed.
These last few weeks have been N-U-T-S
............and in the few, slightly stolen, quiet moments I have had.......... Eternal Encouragement Magazine is what I have grabbed.
I have remained focused by reading articles like, " Four Principles of NOT Wasting Time"
I was encouraged to cultivate a "Lady in Waiting", and nurture the relationship with my daughter.
Housework has gone smoother since reading " See a Mess and Work a Lot Less".
The Article "Picket Fence Pondering" by Amy M. O'Quinn gently spoke to my heart during this time that is so busy... she said, "How many of us are guilty of letting what's important in life slip by because we are so focused on things that don't matter or ones we have no control over." What a great reminder to check my priorities and make sure I am busy for the RIGHT reasons.
If you would like a copy of your very own ............ head on over to http://www.eternalencouragement.com/ and subscribe. Each printed issue is $12.97. Yearly subscriptions start at $25.97 ( which is a really great deal!)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Got Eggs?
We have friends with a farm...........
The Happy Lil Homestead has some chickens that make some tasty eggs.
Thanks to these great little layers, I have roughly 7 1/2 dozen eggs in my fridge right now, and that means I am looking for tasty new ways to eat eggs. Let's face it, one can only eat so many fried or scrambled eggs.
At first I thought frittata. ( Eggs baked in a large skillet in the oven )
Good idea, but the pan isn't really big enough to feed a family of 6 and I am looking to use more than 4 eggs in a meal.
Then there is the ever present quiche.....baked eggs in a crust..... I am married to a kill it and grill it kind of guy..... If I told him we were having quiche for dinner..... he might, well........ lets just say there would be much scoffing and laughter.
That was my mission....figure out how to bake some eggs up.... use at least 18 in the dish, make the meal meat-eating-man friendly...........and keep the teenager from trolling the cupboards again in 30 minutes.
Here is what I whipped up....
Set the oven to 400 and leave it to pre-heat.
Grease the bottom and sides of a 9x13 glass pan. Grease it good now, you don't want the eggs to stick!
Fry up a pound or so of your favorite sausage. Set that aside to cool for a bit.
Crack up a bazillion eggs (18 -20) into a big mixing bowl.
Give your 8 year old the whisk and tell him to get at it. Remind him not to spill.
As he is taking out all his wiggles on the eggs....
grate up about a cup of cheddar cheese.
throw it in the bowl with the eggs...tell him to keep mixing...
pour in about a cup of milk into the bowl.... yup... have him keep mixing
( at this point you really could add other things your family likes... mushrooms, cilantro, onions, spinach, some hash browns.... whatever sounds good )
the eggs should be good and mixed about the time the 8 year old tells you that his arm is going to fall off if he has to keep whisking....
Slowly add in the cooled sausage... a bit of salt and pepper, and you guessed it..... tell him he is on the home stretch.... just a little more mixing
..........just when you have decided his arm might really fall off....
Pour the mixture into the pre-greased pan.
Bake at 400 for about 35 minutes.... ( when I bake eggs like this I use some steam to help. I place my broiler pan with a cup or so of water in it... on the rack right below my pan of eggs... this keeps my eggs from drying out when they are cooking.... nobody likes dusty, dried out eggs ! )
See, like this......
after 35 minutes, top dinner with more grated cheese....
Why?...
......... because you can.
and melted cheese is really yummy..... now put it back in the oven for another 5 minutes or so....
Take it out, cut into squares and eat .... careful not to burn the roof of your mouth.... because that really hurts.
Enjoy!!!!!!!
( P.S. I guess it is still technically a frittata.... just in a family friendly sized pan.)
The Happy Lil Homestead has some chickens that make some tasty eggs.
Thanks to these great little layers, I have roughly 7 1/2 dozen eggs in my fridge right now, and that means I am looking for tasty new ways to eat eggs. Let's face it, one can only eat so many fried or scrambled eggs.
At first I thought frittata. ( Eggs baked in a large skillet in the oven )
Good idea, but the pan isn't really big enough to feed a family of 6 and I am looking to use more than 4 eggs in a meal.
Then there is the ever present quiche.....baked eggs in a crust..... I am married to a kill it and grill it kind of guy..... If I told him we were having quiche for dinner..... he might, well........ lets just say there would be much scoffing and laughter.
That was my mission....figure out how to bake some eggs up.... use at least 18 in the dish, make the meal meat-eating-man friendly...........and keep the teenager from trolling the cupboards again in 30 minutes.
Here is what I whipped up....
Set the oven to 400 and leave it to pre-heat.
Grease the bottom and sides of a 9x13 glass pan. Grease it good now, you don't want the eggs to stick!
Fry up a pound or so of your favorite sausage. Set that aside to cool for a bit.
Crack up a bazillion eggs (18 -20) into a big mixing bowl.
Give your 8 year old the whisk and tell him to get at it. Remind him not to spill.
As he is taking out all his wiggles on the eggs....
grate up about a cup of cheddar cheese.
throw it in the bowl with the eggs...tell him to keep mixing...
pour in about a cup of milk into the bowl.... yup... have him keep mixing
( at this point you really could add other things your family likes... mushrooms, cilantro, onions, spinach, some hash browns.... whatever sounds good )
the eggs should be good and mixed about the time the 8 year old tells you that his arm is going to fall off if he has to keep whisking....
Slowly add in the cooled sausage... a bit of salt and pepper, and you guessed it..... tell him he is on the home stretch.... just a little more mixing
..........just when you have decided his arm might really fall off....
Pour the mixture into the pre-greased pan.
Bake at 400 for about 35 minutes.... ( when I bake eggs like this I use some steam to help. I place my broiler pan with a cup or so of water in it... on the rack right below my pan of eggs... this keeps my eggs from drying out when they are cooking.... nobody likes dusty, dried out eggs ! )
See, like this......
after 35 minutes, top dinner with more grated cheese....
Why?...
......... because you can.
and melted cheese is really yummy..... now put it back in the oven for another 5 minutes or so....
Take it out, cut into squares and eat .... careful not to burn the roof of your mouth.... because that really hurts.
Enjoy!!!!!!!
( P.S. I guess it is still technically a frittata.... just in a family friendly sized pan.)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Miscellany Monday 4.4.11
{one}
I realized last night, that we didn't have a single place to drive today. (if you could hear the Angel chorus going off in my head.... this post would be much more effective...) For the first time in 3 weeks, I didn't have to rush out of the house on a Monday to deposit one at softball, one at piano, one at driving class, back to get the one and piano..... and back to drivers ed..... I get dizzy driving on Mondays.
{two}
little boys love mud.
They will dance and show off how cool they are.....
They think is it soooooo much fun.....
until the wind kicks up...
and they get cold......
and mommy says they have to rinse off.
with the ice cold water from the hose.
.......it wasn't pretty.
'nuff said.
{three}
I am ready for successive days of sunshine, and dirty fingers from gardening.
very ready.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
How do I get them to help?
Saturday morning dawns....
I am tired...
my limbs feel like lead.
I really really wanna stay in bed.
But alas......... there are commitments to keep....so I will drag myself into the shower and pray that hubby will make the coffee..... (He did. He loves me.)
Now I sit here in front of my computer screen taking inventory over this past week.
I am struck by the thought that I haven't spent hardly any time IN.... really IN the Word. Shame on me. I need to work on really purposing a time to spend reading God's Word.
Sometimes I feel like I get absolutely nothing accomplished.... my house is a disaster.... ask Chera if you don't believe me, she was just here last night.... it looks like a tornado ripped through the kitchen.
Spring seems to be a difficult time management part of the year for me. The weather warms up and the activities that all the kids have go from a trickle to a torrent. I am not home during my normal dinner prep time, and we eat later.... dishes don't seem to get done... laundry piles up because we are gone and busy.... clutter piles accumulate because we move in and out of the house, and just dump things when we come in. It really makes me crazy.
We talk about cleaning. We schedule cleaning.... yet I still have this chaos swirling through the house. I am not sure how to actually execute the cleaning....
I mean, I know how to clean, and I am the only one who does (aside from Tayler in the hall bath) .... it is the kids I want to assist in the execution......I remind, I schedule, I make calendars, I remind, I try to extend grace and not flip out and scream and run through the house throwing things at the people they belong to... and on some days..... that is really what I would like to do!!! .... I remind some more......
Yet the initiative doesn't seem to be there. They are content to walk around the suit coat they left on the chair for a week. They are fine to step over the sippy cup.....
Can you tell I am at my whit's end?
Anybody got some thoughts? Maybe If I tell them I can't drive them to their activities, because I have to clean the house..... That might start to get their attention..........
Let me know what you think might work.....I'm desperate.
I am tired...
my limbs feel like lead.
I really really wanna stay in bed.
But alas......... there are commitments to keep....so I will drag myself into the shower and pray that hubby will make the coffee..... (He did. He loves me.)
Now I sit here in front of my computer screen taking inventory over this past week.
I am struck by the thought that I haven't spent hardly any time IN.... really IN the Word. Shame on me. I need to work on really purposing a time to spend reading God's Word.
Sometimes I feel like I get absolutely nothing accomplished.... my house is a disaster.... ask Chera if you don't believe me, she was just here last night.... it looks like a tornado ripped through the kitchen.
Spring seems to be a difficult time management part of the year for me. The weather warms up and the activities that all the kids have go from a trickle to a torrent. I am not home during my normal dinner prep time, and we eat later.... dishes don't seem to get done... laundry piles up because we are gone and busy.... clutter piles accumulate because we move in and out of the house, and just dump things when we come in. It really makes me crazy.
We talk about cleaning. We schedule cleaning.... yet I still have this chaos swirling through the house. I am not sure how to actually execute the cleaning....
I mean, I know how to clean, and I am the only one who does (aside from Tayler in the hall bath) .... it is the kids I want to assist in the execution......I remind, I schedule, I make calendars, I remind, I try to extend grace and not flip out and scream and run through the house throwing things at the people they belong to... and on some days..... that is really what I would like to do!!! .... I remind some more......
Yet the initiative doesn't seem to be there. They are content to walk around the suit coat they left on the chair for a week. They are fine to step over the sippy cup.....
Can you tell I am at my whit's end?
Anybody got some thoughts? Maybe If I tell them I can't drive them to their activities, because I have to clean the house..... That might start to get their attention..........
Let me know what you think might work.....I'm desperate.
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